|One day during a lunch break from your job in Washington
D.C., you are waiting for a friend on a street corner when a strangely
dressed couple approaches you and asks if they can speak to you for a moment.
The man has a powdered wig on his head and is wearing a silk shirt, a waistcoat, breeches that reach only to his knees, silk stockings, and black shoes with a silver buckle on each shoe.
The woman is wearing a powdered wig and a long, flowing dress that reaches almost to the ground. They look like a couple that has just stepped out of a movie set for an American Revolutionary War film.
The couple starts to explain to you that they are
followerss of a religion in which George Washington was a mighty prophet
of Ba-al.Everything that George Washington taught, believed, said, and
practiced must be accepted as the inspired Word of Ba-al, who is the one
The speeches of Washington were actually written in heaven on a tablet of stone. George Washington did not really write a single page of his works; they were given to him by the angel Gabriel out of heaven. Washington merely recited them when Ba-al so ordered.
|The strangely dressed couple went on the explain
that because Washington was a prophet of Ba-al, the true God, we must live
as George Washington lived. For example, all men should dress the way George
Washington dressed, and all women should wear a dress such as Mrs. Washington
We must even eat the food that the Washingtons ate. For example, George Washington did not like peas. Thus no one should be allowed to eat peas today.
Washington's political views must be viewed as the only valid form of government. And, since he owned slaves, slavery must be viewed as being a valid political structure for today. At that moment the alarm on the man's wristwatch goes off and he pulls a compass out of his coat pocket. After facing in a certain direction, the couple gets down on their hands and knees and bows in prayer.
After they finish their prayers, they get up. You can't help but ask them what they were doing.
They explain that they must pray five times a day toward Washington D.C. where the Washington Memorial stands. As a matter of fact, all those who are true followers of George Washington must make a pilgrimage to Washington D.C. at least once in their lifetime.
Once they get there, they must run around the Washington Memorial seven times. Then they have to run down to the end of the mall and throw some stones at the devil.
The man and his wife also remark that the Washington Memorial was actually built by Adam. Although it had been subsequently destroyed at various periods, it was eventually rebuilt by Abraham, and all the biblical patriarchs actually lived at that exact spot. The Washington Memorial is a sacred site and it has always been part of the worship of God.
|At this point they ask for your opinion, so you
give it: They can't really be serious about this religion of Washingtonianism.
The idea of bowing in prayer toward the Washington Memorial is absurd.
The memorial was not built by Adam or rebuilt by Abraham. The partiarchs
did not live in Washington D.C. but in Israel. The whole thing seems ridiculous.
They respond that they are in dead earnest and that they really believe that George Washington was a prophet of Ba-al and that his writings were the Word of God.
You respond by saying, "It seems to me that you have made a religion out of eighteenth-century American colonial culture. Do you really expect people in the twenty-first century to live, dress, and eat in accordance with the habits and tastes of people living in the 1700's in the United States?"
"What if the Russians were to invent a religion
in which we were told that we had to pray toward Moscow five times a day?
Why can't the Japanese invent a religion in which everyone has to pray
toward Tokyo? Why can't the Mexicans say that you must take a pilgrimage
to Mexico City once in your lifetime or you will not be saved?"
With a sigh of relief you explain that you have
to get back to work. But if they would like to talk with you further, they
could meet you on this street corner sometime. With that said, you beat
a hasty retreat without waiting for any further response from the couple.
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